Moroni's Review of My Chemical Romance's "Conventional Weapons"

I have a memory of going to see New Order in concert in 1989.  (New Order was okay.  The opening band - Throwing Muses - was great.  But that's another story.)  It was an outdoor arena, and we sat on the grass, waiting for the show to start in the crepuscular light.  People watching is always fun.  We looked at all the young kids with their massive black hair, sprayed up in homage to Robert Smith, dressed in black even though it was a hot summer day.

"Remember when we used to dress like that?" we laughed.

Because 1986 was such a long time ago to us.  I was nineteen.  What was I wearing then?  I had toned it down to jeans, tees, and a pair of Docs that didn't fit me that well.  But, to me, the whole "The Cure"/ gothic thing had evolved into something contrived.  It was now fashionable instead of rebellious.

Jump to the mid 2000s, and the "emo" thing is in full swing.  It was all about sad teens wearing skinny jeans with hair in their eyes.  You would think that I would relate to it, given my past, but I couldn't understand it.  It seemed trendy, too fashionable.

There are a couple of things you should know about me:

1)  If there is a lot of hype about something, I probably hate it.  I don't know why.  I think it is a mark of my generation.

2)  I live very isolated, and so I am not exposed to too much hype.  Therefore, I formulate a lot of my own opinions on things.

I knew who My Chemical Romance was, and I knew that they were associated with the "emo" scene.  I had never heard their music, but I had seen their pictures in magazines and hated them.  I don't remember what happened that changed my mind.  I remember making a road trip back from Utah and stopping by a K-Mart and buying something to listen to.  It was "Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge".

I was blown away.  I don't know what emo is, don't care.  This was punk.  Beautifully-crafted punk-pop songs - angry, bitter, ironic.  There wasn't a song on the album that I didn't love.  Shortly afterwards, I purchased "The Black Parade".  It was a little less punk, but it was still awesome rock.  They showed that they were growing as musicians.

When their fourth album - "Danger Days" - came out, I was sorely disappointed.  There were a few good songs on it.  It was a glitzy concept album.  There were a few good songs on it, but it was too radio friendly.  I hate to say it, but - one word - sellout.

Their fifth album is an unusual project.  It is called "Conventional Weapons".  It is the album that they recorded to follow up "The Black Parade", but they scrapped it and recorded "Danger Days" instead.  I wish that they had stuck with "Conventional Weapons" instead.  It is a much better album.

They released "Conventional Weapons" in a very unusual fashion - over most of 2012 and the beginning of 2013, they released the album two songs at a time as EPs labeled "Number One" or "Number Two", etc.  As strange as it appears at first, it is actually a very clever thing to do in this age of digital downloads.  Whereas I am old-fashioned and like to get whole albums at a time, I don't think that most people really download albums any more.  They just download singles, or they download the songs they like, disregarding the rest of the album.  The concept album is becoming a thing of the past, which accounts for the genius of "Conventional Weapons".  Each two-song EP is a concept in itself, each EP sounding different than the other.

For instance, "Number One" starts out with a song called "Boy Division".  This is straight-up punk, and I breathed a sigh of relief to see My Chemical Romance" getting back to form - sort of.  The next song is "Tomorrow's Money" is equally angry and rocking.

Then you jump to "Number Two", and the songs - "Ambulance" and "Gun." are infectious punk-pop songs that will have you bobbing up and down.  The songs on "Number Three" are their soft ballads - "The World is Ugly" and "The Light Behind Your Eyes".  "Number Three" is my favorite, because MCR is doing what they do best, which is to speak to those suffering from teenage angst.  Who knew that a man could suffer from teenage angst in his forties?  But guess what - you can.

"Number Four" - with its songs "Kiss the Ring" and "Make Room!!!!" - is the metal EP, reminiscent of AC/DC.  The latter song contains references from "Na Na Na (Na Na Na)", which was the best song off of their last album.  "Number Five" has the only songs which could be considered emo - which is power rock with strong emotional chords.  The songs - "Surrender the Night" and "Burn Bright" are both reminiscent of "Famous Last Words", which is a very important song to me.

All in all, this is an excellent rock album and an example of why My Chemical Romance remains one of my favorite bands of all time.